major blows.

+ skipped chemistry lab this week because i had no effing idea what the hell i was meant to be doing. i read the prelab & was like, the heckkk? usually i can go in there & just scrape through on the little knowledge/improvisions that i manage. but this time i was like theres no way i'ma make it out alive. so i didn't go. still feel bad, because i know that i coulda learnt something, & saved my truancy for something more worthwhile but at the end of the day my pride got in the way. oh well whatever, what's done is done

+ found out that the money that i sent to 'samantha' for parklife tickets was a scam!! that means no more parklife tickets for kathleen :( i was so excited for her to come. luckily got the cash back, i should be counting my lucky stars for that!! otherwise i'd have been $600 poorer with nothing to show. i fckn wna stab the stupid internet scammers who take people's money. i just kept emailing them & emailing them saying YOURE GOING TO HELL & YOURE A CHEAT etc. but whatever. they didn't take our money that's the main thing.

+ speaking of money, i'm so strapped for it atm. celica, youre not the only one. i dont know what i blow it on!! actually yes i do, FOOD! i reallyyy need to stop eating out & buying things just for the sake of looking busy. eep.

+ hit the euro TWICE yesterday. both times while backing into my driveway. first i hit the left side on the pillar next to my driveway which cracked the back of the car & left really ugly scapes. secondly i smashed into the stupid trailer that the neighbours have put next to our lawn & broke the back right breaklight. so fucking devastated. i'm really starting to feel the repercusions of being careless. i mean its so easy to just create scenarios where your money goes down the drain just because of stupidity.

+ speaking of wasting money on carelessness..... i got another $84 parking ticket. fuck my life. seriously. I AM SO STRAPPED FOR MONEY I HAVE TO PAY MY PHONE BILL THIS MONTH + MY CREDIT CARDSS!!! fuck you fuck you fuck you currency & whoever created this materialistic world.

+ that being said, i'm glad that i learnt all of this now & not when i'm 25 and looking for my own pad to stay at. i've drawn myself up a little budget plan where half of my savings goes into my 'first home buyers' account & the other goes into my 'saving for a car' account. fingers crossed it works out.

+ i miss mark. i get to see him tomorrow.

+ i really want a female fighter fish, or two. because jubjub is so lonely in the tank! none of the other fish play with him, either theyre too scared to go near him or they're bullying him!! but jubjub always hides so i have a feeling that the others are ganging up on him stupid fish.

that's all for now. fingers crossed that next week is a better week. :)

empire state of mind.

up at 1.45am because i had an essay due today that i'm only halfway through! luckily for me & thanks to my inherited bullshitting abilities i managed to talk my way into a 3 day extension :) which gives me the weekend to perfect this ish. week has been so stressful what with this essay on the to-do list as well as an exam today that i unfortunately couldn't postpone. it went ok, pretty sure i passed but probably JUST. hopefully i'll get this essay done tonight so that i can enjoy the rest of my weekend in peace :) its not fun being in on a friday night. meant to see mark tomorrow yay, haven't seen him all week. mum's going away to nz for the week i know right, hasn't she had enough of going overseas. but she's going to take care of my grandma who just got out of hospital, she seems to be ok though my mum was double-thinking whether to go but better safe than sorry huh. my parents said that they'd get me a car for me to pay off YAY! i'm looking at either a holden astra or toyota corolla, even though my dream car would be a BMW 120i so hottt! but wayyy out of my price range haha. my dad wants me to get a suzuki swift or honda jazz mmm no thanks.. anyways that's about it atm. haven't had much of a life atm. dreading work @ 8.30am tomorrow ew! but at least it's only for 4hrs then i'm freeee.

xx

ps. LIL MAMA IS AN IDIOT. the poor girl.

21

lynette hui
me
third year student
only passed 17 out of 21 subjects
still doing first year subjects
philosophy major
who can't even spell nietzsche without looking at my reader
i don't even know the difference between hume & kant
pharmacology student
who fluked my way through chemistry & physiology
scraping past with low 50s
living at home
driving my parents' car
spending my parents' money
letting my parents control my life

sick of it.
at times i can understand why i still let my parents take over because if it was up to me, i'd be out every night, never at home & spending like there's no tomorrow. a bum with no direction.
but at the same time i feel like i'm not able to grow with them constantly in my face telling me what to do. i understand that they want the best for me yaddayaddayadda but i mean how am i meant to learn without room to make mistakes...
i honestly think that they're way overdue to just let me go.
i want to do things my way
i want my own rules
i want to be able to think for myself
i want to become an adult :(

to do list

+ study for phph midsem: 70% complete
+ write philosophy essay: 0/3000 words
+ starve myself & over exercise for parklife/summer: 0% complete
+ savesavesave for a new car: 0.3/15K saved
+ convince mark to get me a tiffany&co necklace: status unknown

i also need a new wardrobe, new makeup, to spend some time at the t.salon, take yoga classes...

oh to be carefree again lol.
x